journey of an intoxicated escape


The solo trip

this is gonna be long…haha… *inhale and exhale* so i just had my first ever solo trip…was quite nervous and excited…well you know going out alone…but i have been planning my trip since December last year…so more towards the excited part…hehe…where did i go??Cebu, Philippines…why??because i was thinking if i go there i would see beautiful scenery and beaches…and well of course that time AirAsia opens direct flight from KK to Cebu so it was dirt cheap…dirt cheap as in i booked my return ticket for only MYR92…yes Ninety Two Malaysian Ringgit (minus the foods and the baggage)…

as i was excited for my trip, in March i got news from AirAsia that direct flight KK-Cebu and return has been cancelled…i have to change my itinerary to KK-Manila-Cebu…well at no extra charge…but my time in Cebu was cut short…like really short…sigh…so my trip was officially KK-MNL-CEB…the date, 12th – 15th April…

12th April

flight was at 11.30A.M. local time…KK to Manila…and i just brought PHP3600 (around MYR270) in cash…i did bring MYR cash though and some dollars for my back up…arrived in Manila around 1.30P.M. local time (well it’s just the same as Malaysia though)…but only cleared immigration in Manila around 2.30P.M…long queue, only two counters were opened and the airport was quite small and under renovations…but i think it is also because the airport is the terminal four which is known as domestic airport…thus the small size…

NAIA Terminal 4

NAIA Terminal 4

so that’s the terminal…then have to hop on my next flight which was Manila to Cebu ETD 4p.M…again too many people…oh you have to show your itinerary to the security guard at the airport entrance so you can come in…one security guard only…that was also the reason for the long queue…then went through those scanner stuffs…and as you want to go to the boarding gate another guard will check the ticket and then through the scanner stuffs again…another long queue…around 3.30P.M. was on the plane to Cebu…4P.M. moved and all excited…

on plane to Cebu was seated next to a Cebuano / Bisaya kid named VJ…or Von Joseph…6 years old…he was all chatty and frustrated because i was speaking all in English…he was all Tagalog and Bisayan with me and his guardian (i think his sister) told him to speak in English…somehow i was lucky cause i still can catch up with what he was saying although most of the times i went,”i don’t understand”…flight for 1 hour to Cebu was accompanied by him…nice kid…and around 5P.M arrived in Cebu…



Mactan Cebu International Airport

Mactan Cebu International Airport

when i was out and saw this, and i went,”ohhhh i am hereee…omg I AM HERE”…haha…fetched up by my friend Niel, the airport was in Mactan Island though so have to go to another island for Cebu City, checked in at hotel (stayed at Golden Prince Hotel & Suites) then went out to Ayala Mall (as far as i can remember the name) for dinner…first impression on Cebu City, just like KL…the city centre that is…and the mall is huge kinda Pavi meets MidValley i think…again at the entrance, security guard will be checking on you…

Ayala Mall

Ayala Mall

that’s the mall…Niel went to have his TGIF we departed and i spent my night resting…cause was planning to go early for my Bohol trip…

13th April

woke up around 5A.M. to catch my ferry to Bohol…cause my friend was saying since it was holy week, it means holiday time so there would be a lot of people…oh saw the picture below near the tv…

the rematch

read it and,”damn it’s here in this hotel!”…just downstairs…but had to skip it cause i had plan to go to Bohol…around 5.30A.M. took a taxi to Cebu Port…and the cost was PHP200…then as you want to be dropped off the terminal or Pier they called it, you need to pay PHP10 for the taxi to enter…oh for the ferry make sure you know which Pier you want to go and check the schedule beforehand…went to the wrong Pier and costed me another PHP50…bought myself ticket to Bohol through Tubigon for PHP220 by using Starcraft…

Paid PHP10 for vehicle to enter

Paid PHP10 for vehicle to enter

ok some tips…there are two ports to go to Bohol from Cebu…which are Tagbilaran and Tubigon…Tagbilaran is the famous one but the longest one and cost you a bit more…it is near Panglao Island in which most accommodations are situated…so if you want directly to go to your place of stay and feel the beach first then choose this one…i chose Tubigon because it is shorter and cheaper…half the price…then because i planned to directly have my Bohol tour so Tubigon is nearer…

so after i bought my ticket the taxi dropped me off to continue my journey at Pier 1…

Pier 1

Pier 1

as you want to enter the departure you have to pay terminal fee of PHP25…oh and go through security check, the scanner stuffs…the insides were quite cozy and quite spacious…they have around 8 gates (as far as i can remember) and a number of facilities including wifi…

Ticket to Tubigon

Ticket to Tubigon

The insides

The insides

the facilities are like the ones below…on the upper side, first one is the charging station then they have kids’ corner…on the bottom, first one is the meditation room, second is first aid room and then the third one is the breastfeeding station…the last one is the departure / boarding gate…

Facilities Pier 1

around 7A.M. boarded the ferry to Tubigon. 8A.M. arrived and the weather was quite gloomy…Tubigon Port is still under renovation so it looked quite messy and dusty…

Starcraft's Ferry

Starcraft’s Ferry

Port of Tubigon: under renovation

Port of Tubigon: under renovation

as i went out was approached by few tour(?) providers…well not sure what word to use so the ‘tour’ because they provide tricycle or van for you to rent and the driver will get you to places you want to go…and so i rented tricycle with PHP1500…PHP400 for the petrol or gas or fuel or anything you called it and PHP1100 for the service…

another tips…make sure you know places you want to go…because i had a hard time conversing with the driver but luckily i knew where i wanted to go…you will be brought to places they think you wanted to go…so if you are on a budget better know your places…and also it’ll be cheaper if you want to tour Bohol with few people…because a van will cost you around PHP2500 or PHP3000 which can accommodate around at least 5 people i think…

while i was on my way i still can see that Bohol is still recovering from the previous disaster…you can see they are still rebuilding churches, houses even the road in some places still under repair…but it was nice to see despite all that they are still strong…you can see people crowding the temporary churches they built…and there were so many of churches although they were just the size of a classroom…

When i was on my way

on my way

my first stop was Chocolate Hills

wanted to take a look at the famous hills…so i went to Sagbayan Peak…the place was just reopened on November 2013…and yes it is still going through its rebuilding…but the place has theme park-ish feeling on it…they have quite a lot of cartoon characters figures…entry cost was at PHP30…oh starting at the entrance as you went up you will see these messages people wrote on the tragedy…really heartwarming…


Sagbayan Peak

Sagbayan Peak

other than the viewing deck (to view Chocolate Hills) there are butterfly dome that you can go to and kidstown…and so here’s a shot from the viewing deck…and yes a selfie…haha

selfie uu

and so move on to the next one…still Chocolate Hills but this one is Carmen Chocolate Hills Complex…this is the famous one…entrance fee PHP50…you can see the hills are nearer when you are at the viewing deck….oh you would need to climb quite the stairs…and they were quite long and steep…haha…

the stairs

but then as soon as you arrived there…voilaaaa the scene was quite mesmerizing…although few minutes after i have arrived fogs are coming and it was raining…still the beauty is or was there and it was calming with the wind blowing…

View from Carmen Chocolate Hills Complex

View from Carmen Chocolate Hills Complex

ok tips…if you wanted a cheaper and still looking at Chocolate Hills minus the hassle and take pictures all you want feel free to go to Sagbayan Peak…less crowd…the cost is PHP30…i was alone when i was at the viewing deck…and you can go see butterfly dome and fooling around at kidstown (however i didn’t enter that place)…although the setback was the view was quite far…you can see the differences in my pictures…Carmen Chocolate Hills Complex will cost you PHP50 but the view was nearer…you would feel like you can touch that hershey’s kisses looking thing…haha…however since the complex is famous, you would need to bear with other people…everyone wanted to take pictures so it can be pretty hard to get nice shots…but when you got it…awesome it is…

there were few souvenirs stalls before the ticket counter down the complex…paid PHP200 for 10 pieces of keychain and got one free cause i bargained non stop…haha…later i will compare which place has a good deal of souvenirs…

cost for Chocolate Hills stop:

Entrance Fee: PHP30 (sagbayan) + PHP50 (choco hills complex) = PHP80

Souvenirs: PHP200

Total: PHP280

2nd stop: Loboc Tarsier Conservation Centre

in Bohol this one is also quite the famous one…Tarsier…one of the smallest primates…active by night…the biggest one that i saw was just the size of my palm…anyway while i was on the way, passed through Bilar Man-Made Forest…it was all serene plus it was raining so the view was awesomely nice…it was kinda refreshing…you know that after rain feeling…that was the mood…haha…managed to capture few shots of the forest…here’s one…

Bilar Man-Made Forest

Bilar Man-Made Forest

then arrived at the conservation centre…paid PHP60 to enter…and you got a postcard as your ticket…

Tarsier Postcard

Tarsier Postcard

there were six of them at that time…first arrived at the viewing site the staff kept pointing her fingers to one of them so i can see…it was quite hard to see…and the first that i was pointed to was the smallest one among the six…and it was there on that branch curling on its tail sleeping…yes they were all sleeping because they would only be active by night…one time, there was one tourist trying to snap a picture of the Tarsier by using monopod…the Tarsier woke and i think it just got weirded out what the hell is this thing doing here so it just stared at the phone…and i saw the eyes were round and biiggg…way cute…haha…managed to get a decent picture of the Tarsier though…

cute tiny lil pie was sound sleeping

cute tiny lil pie was all sleeping

then as you went down the viewing site there will be few souvenirs stalls waiting for you…there bought 4 pieces of fridge magnet for PHP100…but try the one outside (beside the coconut stall as far as i can remember) as you exit the centre cause for me that was cheaper…they offered Tarsier (quite big one!) fridge magnet for PHP100 for 4 pieces…so i just bought two because i did buy 4 SMALL pieces of fridge magnet…my loss…and bought Peanut Kisses, quite the signature sweets in Bohol…brought back to Malaysia…it’s basically like the hershey’s kisses but only peanut instead of chocolate…bought it for PHP70

cost for Tarsier stop:

Entrance Fee: PHP60

Souvenirs: PHP100 (1st stall)  + PHP50 (2nd cheaper stall) + PHP70 (peanut kisses) = PHP220

Total: PHP280

3rd stop: Sevilla Bamboo Hanging Bridge

ok after thinking really hard while i was on my way…decided this one would be my last stop…because in my pocket i only have around PHP1700…and i still need to pay my tricycle driver PHP1100…the setback of being under a budget you calculated each thing and restrict your cash outflow…haha…the entrance fee was PHP20…and you can see how they just made bamboo into a bridge and how strong they made it…it looked like the bamboos were weaved…easily…nicely done…there were two bridges one for entry and one for exit…as you enter and go to the other sides souvenirs stalls await…and fresh coconut (i think got little money so no spending anymore…haha)…there were some locals singing…so you can be entertained…oh each of the stalls will persuade you to buy…like really persuade…haha…i said to them i don’t understand Bisayan or Tagalog…you know when people were talking you get the idea of what they were talking about through their tones although you don’t understand what language they were using??somehow i managed to catch up what they were saying and i got the feeling they thought i was a snob because i only speak in English…heard that as i was leaving…so decided to turn and said,”no i am not filipino ma’am” and laughed…that lady was quite shocked and said,”oh i am sorry, i thought you are filipino” as she put on her towel to cover her face…haha…so i left with laughters…ececeh

the hanging bridge

the hanging bridge

cost for hanging bridge stop:

Entrance Fee: PHP20

Souvenirs: NIL

Total: PHP20

okay after visited those three places…for me, better buy souvenirs at the hanging bridge…the Chocolate Hills Complex was cheap and Tarsier Centre was cheaper but at hanging bridge was the cheapest of all three places…small fridge magnets you can get 5 with PHP100…and because the people there were persuading, i think you can bargain more to get it cheaper…tshirts also were cheaper…

so after that went directly to Panglao Island for my place of stay…i chose Doljo Beach because as i studied the place, Doljo were not packed with accommodations…so i think it would be less crowded…Alona Beach area is the famous one though…and you get plenty of options there to choose for accommodations…but i think i have made the right choice for staying in Doljo because that time was the Holy Week…so people were having a 1 week holiday…and my friend said beaches will be crowded since April is the summer…because i don’t want to be in a crowded beach…not my cup of tea…haha…oh also be reminded, Cebuano is kinda like Spanish…so the pronunciation for Doljo is Dolho…was saying Doljo with J instead of H so driver was confused…when he asked the around only he was,”ahhh Dolho”…haha…arrived and checked in at Muro-Ami Beach Resort…

Muro-Ami Beach Resort, Doljo

Muro-Ami Beach Resort, Doljo

and so i said goodbye to the tricycle driver (actually i forgot his name…local name but was hard to pronounce…and i am really bad with names so i tend to forget)…paid the remaining PHP1100…however PLEASE prepare extra and give the driver some tips…at least for him to eat…since i was short of cash i can’t give him some…and i really feel bad about it…i was saying sorry all over and explained to him that i am short of cash…my short of cash was at the point that i may be stranded in Doljo if i did give him tips…i mean i did prepare extra but only in my range of budget…as i was sure i don’t have anymore extra to pay for…but yeah that was the extra one…tips for the driver…didn’t account that on my budget thus my action…not sure if he understands but he was saying,”it’s okay…thank you”…bless you, bless you…so make sure to include tips in your budget…don’t be like this loser here…

checked in at Muro-Ami and first thing was, asked the receptionist on money changer…he was saying there is a money changer near Panglao Public Market and said yes MYR also accepted…so i walked and it was around 4KM to go to the money changer…haha…and then my luck was they only accepted USDOLLARS…greaatttt…i was thinking yessss i will be stranded here…haha…okay no, i have USD20 in my pocket…so changed that for PHP879…then from the money changer rode Habal-Habal (motorcycle) to Muro-Ami for PHP15…

spent my evening stayed at the beach feeling the breeze, the peacefulness and the sound of the wave and strolling around the shore…

Doljo Beach

Doljo Beach

that night after finding out the option to choose to go back to cebu, had myself an early and good rest…decided to use Jeepney from Panglao to Tagbilaran because i asked the locals they said less than PHP30 while taxi can cost you around PHP600 and tricycle PHP300…

14th April

the day to go back to Cebu…chose the route from Tagbilaran to Cebu…first took Habal-Habal (thank god easily found one!) to Panglao Public Market to catch my jeepney (bus)…paid PHP20…and thank god also because as i arrived the jeepney was taking off so i was on time…around one hour made it to Tagbilaran city…paid PHP25…oh for me, you must ask for the rates because you would need to ask for your change…they will not return your change unless you asked…so better have exact change or simply, just ask…then from the city hop on to tricycle to Tagbilaran Port with PHP20…oh and Tagbilaran Port is also still under construction…

Tagbilaran City

Tagbilaran City

in the tricycle

in the tricycle

Tagbilaran Port

Tagbilaran Port

went to the ticket counter and chose Weesam Express because they have quite plenty of trips scheduled for Tagbilaran-Cebu and vice versa in a day…paid PHP500 for the ticket…then upon entering you would need to pay a terminal fee of PHP15 to depart…


the inside of Weesam Express

the inside of Weesam Express

and so said goodbye to Bohol Island…as i was leaving, went out and stayed for a while near the stern, backside of the ferry…and enjoying the last view of Bohol…

Goodbye Bohol!

Goodbye Bohol!

my 2 hour ride to Cebu City was accompanied by Michael, a 73 years old, from UK…he had been going in and out Philippines for quite some time…stayed there for few months then went back…we had a nice conversation…he was saying that they in UK were too much spoiled…mostly supported by government unlike in Philippines…he told me got this one time he knew this family had a daughter suffered from leukemia and had to sell everything in their possessions just to treat her…then he was saying,”we do know leukemia has been known to have no cure so it’s quite pity cause they sold every single thing”…then what got me cringed was when he said,”head they will lose, tail they will lose too”…even he as a pensioner, were paid GBP100 per week…so he said,”we both are lucky”…we talked about different things, told me about jokes, then some history lessons…learnt that Lapu-Lapu City got its name from a National Hero named Lapu-Lapu that killed Magellan…awesome chap and nice conversation…

Meet Michael

Meet Michael

so the cost for my Bohol Tour:

Ferry ticket: PHP220 (Cebu-Tubigon) + PHP25 (Terminal Fee) + PHP500 (Tagbilaran-Cebu) + PHP15 (Terminal Fee) = PHP760

Tricycle Rent: PHP1100 (service) + PHP400 (gas) = PHP1500

Chocolate Hills: PHP280

Tarsier: PHP280

Hanging Bridge: PHP20

Transport: PHP15 (Habal-habal: Money Changer-Muro Ami) + PHP20 (Habal-habal: Doljo-Panglao Public Market) + PHP25 (Jeepney: Panglao-Tagbilaran) + PHP20 (Tricycle: Tagbilaran City-Tagbilaran Port) = PHP80

Total: PHP2920

after i arrived at Pier 1, mistakenly rode a trishaw costed me PHP15 due to miscommunication, and ended up in Pier 3…then just decided to take taxi to my next place of stay Express Inn in Mactan Island…which costed me PHP200…and then spent my time resting because my flight out from Cebu the next day was schedule at 5.45A.M…

15th April

the day my flights out of Philippines…woke up at 2A.M. and took a taxi to Mactan-Cebu International Airport with PHP150…as i checked in, was asked,”which seat do you prefer sir??isle or window?”…so i said,”window and is it possible to be at the back?”…because i wanna see as the sun rise you know…then was given my ticket and there was seated at the isle…sad but what can i do…so said Goodbye to Cebu and off me go to Manila…

CEB-MNL, ETD: 0545

CEB-MNL, ETD: 0545

almost 7.00A.M. arrived at Manila and straight for checking in MNL-BKI ETD: 0900…ask specifically to be seated at the isle…and thank god i was seated at 19F…haha…so board myself on the plane around 8++ and said goodbye to Manila, to Philippines…will see you soon Philippines!!

Goodbye Philippines!

Goodbye Philippines!

It's more fun in the Philippines

It’s more fun in the Philippines

so the total cost for my trip was:

Cash: around MYR350

Accommodations: around MYR250

Flight: MYR92

Total: around MYR692

next up is Manila and Boracay perhaps??looking forward for my next trip…haha


And i’m counting one, two, three,
Hearing thoughts, my sanity,
Slipping slowly,
Leaving me,

Questions lingering,
Without voice, screaming,
Silent cry, wondering why,
Wanted to fly,

Counting again up to three,
Maybe it’s just a dream,
Maybe it is me,
Maybe a whim,

2000s the 13th…

and so the 2013 has just ended…and as usual i’m gonna do my recap for 2013…they said 13 is unlucky…so does my year…haha…oh well not really unlucky but it’s just that quite a number of bad things happened compared to the lucky ones…no i am not trying to complain or anything but i’m thankful for the not so lucky things to happen…well gotta say i have lucky things happened too so i am really grateful for all of those lessons and blessings…so i’m just gonna point out some things i can recap on…


okay 2013 is my graduation year…graduated officially on Jan 2013…first strike of lucky…and LUCKY enough to graduate with second class upper…thank you god…really really thank you…i know i am not that academically excel hoo haa brilliant dean’s list material but you did give me on what i have worked on…you gave me the chance to fix of all the things when i fell in the previous years…fast forward my convocation was on october (yessss that was one hell of a long wait!!but it was worth the wait) so got my official scroll and stuffs…above all i survived my almost 5 years of so called struggle…haha…sweeettttt


this one i don’t even know where to begin…well the strike of the so called unlucky began on 31st January…yeah yeah that thing…then searched through every single thing that i know…but to no end…got some sort of light when this one household name decided to let me through to final stage…but teettttt nope not my time…strike two of unlucky…haha…i did my hunt for i think around 10months??can’t even count how many interviews i went through from phone to face to face to skype…presentations, examinations, tests, faking my nerve, forcing my smile cause i was hoping too much till my nerve went numb…it came to the point that,’owh another interview…okaayyyy…just go’…i was not even hoping i was not even trying…haha…yeah basically it came to the point of giving up…that period of unemployment really has eaten i think most of me that i used to know…okay cheesy…whatever…hahaha…well it’s not that being jobless taking its toll but it’s the environment of being jobless…not just financially but others too…

anyway, was offered two different jobs on november…but i chose the one in sabah…ah crap i don’t want to think about the other one…moving onnnn…so far i love my job…well the nature of it…it was the exact JD that i was searching for…well you see when you are being jobless for that long you tend to appreciate every single thing in your job…although it can be challenging (well who says job is all flowers and butterflies?) but you would always remind yourself on the times when job was just the hardest part…haha…in the end it all comes back to you whether to enjoy it or not…


teeettttttttttttt…moving oonnnnnnnnnnn…hahaha


this one was quite interesting…for 2013 of course…met awesome people…then got to know people can be such a hypocrite…that hurts…but oh well i will always tend to remind myself do not stoop so low…so to awesome people that i have met thank you for the 2013…cheers for 2014…and for those i may have hurt i am deeply sorry for i don’t know what i did was hurting…

they say friends come and go…well they do but it’s you who keep them…it doesn’t matter if they stay or not what matters most is you should stay…because i have come to believe in ‘give and take’…you don’t deserve to have someone to stay when you are the one leaving…so i’m trying to lean towards the stay…

so social life for 2013 has that mix thing…awesome and so not awesome…but i really appreciate those i have met and those i have grown closer to…thank you…


2013 is(was?) the year i would so called retiring from my dance life…well i have graduated so basically i was out from UPAG…haha…but after my graduation i did served for around 3 months…hehe

on January participated in Malaysia Dance Village in UITM Shah Alam…only God knows how in pain we were…well we were only given around 1 week ONE FREAKING WEEK plus a day or two to learn 4 new choreography…haha…that was really a crazy one…but we did awarded with Anugerah Kumpulan Harapan so twas bittersweet journey…

then on February, participated in 2013 Taiwan Lantern Festival in Hsin Chu County…twas a great memory…well we did enjoy the moments there…but most of all i was the one that screwed up the most…so the reason for THE great memory…hahahaha…damn it…embarrassing…anyway that was my last show…for i don’t how long…perhaps for ever??haha…


all in all 2013 was the year that i have come to terms with myself…too many so called ‘unlucky’ things happened (well of course other than that unemployment) that made me realised things…lessons…somehow i really learned a lot after all those things happened…

i am really thankful god, for putting me through all of it…those are really blessings in disguise…i am not sure what you have stored for me in 2014 but all i know i will try my hardest to be happy and appreciate things…and sorry in advanced cause i might have a complain or two perhaps three (okayyy maybe there will be a lot) through my journeys but i know you are there accompanying me…

ok that’s it for my recap…phew that was quite long…oh happy new year!!may this one filled with happiness and joy!!bye

thank you


thank you God,
for helping me a lot,
though i may go astray,
You are there answering my pray…

at times I am blind,
at times crossing the line,
You are always there,
Still leading me, in my way…

thank you family,
supporting me endlessly,
though expectation can be cruel,
but you set a bar for my duel,
giving me something to hold,
to keep fighting through it all…

thank you friends,
to no end providing me hands,
in the verge of me running away,
and giving up in my toughest day,
without fail always stay,
directing me back to my way…

thank you teacher,
for making me a whole lot better,
for being angry, for punishing,
for turning nothing into something…

thank you so called enemy,
you teach me how to be,
a stronger version of me,
standing tall for you to see…

also for non believer,
making me feel like a loser,
you’re the reason i want to prove,
that you’re just an asshole and a goof…

thank you, thank you, thank you,
nothing much i can say to you,
teaching me, letting me learn,
in shaping myself as a person,
though the battle is far from over,
i shall be grateful forever…

tanda tanya

Lihat mereka,
Alangkah bagusnya…

Kau harus begini,
Manual hidupmu ini…


Mengapa harus menjatuhkan?
Berkata terus sedemikian,
Mana perginya apresiasi?
Matikah ditelan provokasi?

Semua seperti kosong,
Tiada makna, tiada erti,
‘Ini cuma pendorong!’,
Lantang, justifikasi…


Apa lagi yang dimahu?
Bingung, hanya buntu…

‘Ini pembakar semangat!’,
Terus dijaja, diangkat,
Mereka bagus, mereka hebat…

Kenapa mesti mereka?
Apa semua tiada nilainya?

Terus tertanya…
Terus bertanya…

Sampai bila?

being unemployed

Ok here we go…i’ve been unemployed for roughly 8 months…it sure feels sucks…when most (i think all) of your friends are enjoying their salary…true i’m totally jealous on that…but still i have no luck in job hunting…perhaps i should mandi bunga or something…hihi…

anyway, i’ve been thinking (like i wasn’t before la konon) this time into my issue of unemployment…where exactly did i screwed, maybe it was the interview, or the cover letter, or the resume or perhaps i was aiming too high with just a mere qualification…so i can only say one thing,’Allah sengaja buat begini’…yeah i believe god put me up to this…before that i would like to say yes i ‘blame’ Him…

why??hmmm…because i’ve been missing out for around 7 years…yes i believe He made me unemployed to fill the 7 years i’ve been missing out…missing out home…i’ve been away from home around 7 years…it’s just not physically away…but emotionally too…was in mrsm in 2006…that time i was way focusing on my study and friends…when it is time for holiday i will be staying at hostel just because i want to study and enjoy with couple of friends…if there’s somewhat long holiday muka ni la selalu balik awal pegi mrsm…so i tend to do that enjoying high school life la konon…because all i care is about achievement…yes i care about my parents…but in the sense i want them to be proud of my achievement…i want them to see it that i can go far…then yeah alhamdulillah spm i can say flying colours juga…but that’s the thing…i was too into it until i wasn’t aware of people…

so then UTP years…2008 the start…you see when you are so far from home people tend to not want you to be worried…at least that was what my family did…so i always missed out what are the things that happened or happening at home…mrsm ok lagi i can just go straight home if something happened…but UTP??no not really…jealous juga when people can easily go home when they were being homesick and stuffs…and to be frank i will always be the last to know…when i called everything is just okay only to know later things weren’t so fine…believe me that is not a good feeling to go through…yes it hurts…okay stop there cause it’ll be all yada yada yada…hate to dig on that…moving on…

now i’ve been unemployed for 8 months….yes it sucks for not being able to help in terms of financially…that’s what i always wanted to do when i get a job, family’s financial…that was also why i was stressing out with being unemployed…unable to help in coping with financial shiz…but yeah you know i always think think and think…i’ve been staying home…i get to know things that i wouldn’t know back when i was studying…things that well, a family member should know…i learned more on cooking got to improve on my skills…and hey i learned on baking cookies / kuih raya…yeah when i was a kid i used to help my mom with those stuffs so i really really missed doing it…but when i’m unemployed got to help my mom with the raya preparation…i got to bake kuih raya…my first ever la buat everything…all these time i was just a mere helper (well mostly just sit there and stare…haha)…

most of all they are all in my range of sight…so i can know on the spot what is going on and not worry as much as i would be back then…i got to catch up on what i’ve been missing…stories…about this and that…gossips too…haha…maybe yeah i was not doing much here well mostly i would argue with my dad over some silly things because we both are stubborn…haha…and then laugh with my mom on how hard headed my dad can be…and of course me too…got to yell at my lil bro just because he wasn’t doing what he was told (read: dictatorship)…kihkihkih…be there for my big bro’s first child…be there on my other big bro’s wedding…and then got nagged by parents just because i woke up late…

yeah may be it is somewhat a misfortune for my job thingy but one thing i got to know better is my family…well your place in job can be replaced with new talents but your place in family sure is irreplaceable…at least i know a part of my life that i really need is with me now…and i’m not sure when i will secure a job…i don’t know…i don’t even know if i will ever get a job…all i know i ‘blame’ god for this…and i thank Him for giving me the chance to fill out all those 7 years that i’ve missed…really i’m thankful and i feel blessed…but perhaps give me job soon??haha…okay okay kidding…i will get through what ever it is that You will give me…because i know You work in mysterious way…

and i learned to appreciate more and lessen the complain…of course i can’t get away with it but yeah i’ve been reminding myself to appreciate more out of life…reduce the complains and shits…i mean shiz…eh stuffs…woopss…thank you God for making something out of my so called misery on oh-i-can’t-get-a-job-nooo-what-is-happening-waarghh thingy…haha…


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