being unemployed
Ok here we go…i’ve been unemployed for roughly 8 months…it sure feels sucks…when most (i think all) of your friends are enjoying their salary…true i’m totally jealous on that…but still i have no luck in job hunting…perhaps i should mandi bunga or something…hihi…
anyway, i’ve been thinking (like i wasn’t before la konon) this time into my issue of unemployment…where exactly did i screwed, maybe it was the interview, or the cover letter, or the resume or perhaps i was aiming too high with just a mere qualification…so i can only say one thing,’Allah sengaja buat begini’…yeah i believe god put me up to this…before that i would like to say yes i ‘blame’ Him…
why??hmmm…because i’ve been missing out for around 7 years…yes i believe He made me unemployed to fill the 7 years i’ve been missing out…missing out home…i’ve been away from home around 7 years…it’s just not physically away…but emotionally too…was in mrsm in 2006…that time i was way focusing on my study and friends…when it is time for holiday i will be staying at hostel just because i want to study and enjoy with couple of friends…if there’s somewhat long holiday muka ni la selalu balik awal pegi mrsm…so i tend to do that enjoying high school life la konon…because all i care is about achievement…yes i care about my parents…but in the sense i want them to be proud of my achievement…i want them to see it that i can go far…then yeah alhamdulillah spm i can say flying colours juga…but that’s the thing…i was too into it until i wasn’t aware of people…
so then UTP years…2008 the start…you see when you are so far from home people tend to not want you to be worried…at least that was what my family did…so i always missed out what are the things that happened or happening at home…mrsm ok lagi i can just go straight home if something happened…but UTP??no not really…jealous juga when people can easily go home when they were being homesick and stuffs…and to be frank i will always be the last to know…when i called everything is just okay only to know later things weren’t so fine…believe me that is not a good feeling to go through…yes it hurts…okay stop there cause it’ll be all yada yada yada…hate to dig on that…moving on…
now i’ve been unemployed for 8 months….yes it sucks for not being able to help in terms of financially…that’s what i always wanted to do when i get a job, family’s financial…that was also why i was stressing out with being unemployed…unable to help in coping with financial shiz…but yeah you know i always think think and think…i’ve been staying home…i get to know things that i wouldn’t know back when i was studying…things that well, a family member should know…i learned more on cooking got to improve on my skills…and hey i learned on baking cookies / kuih raya…yeah when i was a kid i used to help my mom with those stuffs so i really really missed doing it…but when i’m unemployed got to help my mom with the raya preparation…i got to bake kuih raya…my first ever la buat everything…all these time i was just a mere helper (well mostly just sit there and stare…haha)…
most of all they are all in my range of sight…so i can know on the spot what is going on and not worry as much as i would be back then…i got to catch up on what i’ve been missing…stories…about this and that…gossips too…haha…maybe yeah i was not doing much here well mostly i would argue with my dad over some silly things because we both are stubborn…haha…and then laugh with my mom on how hard headed my dad can be…and of course me too…got to yell at my lil bro just because he wasn’t doing what he was told (read: dictatorship)…kihkihkih…be there for my big bro’s first child…be there on my other big bro’s wedding…and then got nagged by parents just because i woke up late…
yeah may be it is somewhat a misfortune for my job thingy but one thing i got to know better is my family…well your place in job can be replaced with new talents but your place in family sure is irreplaceable…at least i know a part of my life that i really need is with me now…and i’m not sure when i will secure a job…i don’t know…i don’t even know if i will ever get a job…all i know i ‘blame’ god for this…and i thank Him for giving me the chance to fill out all those 7 years that i’ve missed…really i’m thankful and i feel blessed…but perhaps give me job soon??haha…okay okay kidding…i will get through what ever it is that You will give me…because i know You work in mysterious way…
and i learned to appreciate more and lessen the complain…of course i can’t get away with it but yeah i’ve been reminding myself to appreciate more out of life…reduce the complains and shits…i mean shiz…eh stuffs…woopss…thank you God for making something out of my so called misery on oh-i-can’t-get-a-job-nooo-what-is-happening-waarghh thingy…haha…
escaping reality 