Battle
Liar Liar Liar Liar!
All deemed to be a liar,
Strutting lies, pure desire,
Parading facade with no fear…
Faces after faces,
Destroying, murdering senses,
Fall from that holy grace,
With nothing but a mess…
It demands to be felt,
The pain, they said,
Utter excuse, utter deceit,
For inflicting on repeat…
Mirror said go ahead,
Let them in, let them fed,
For things will be at ease,
For once, at a peace…
It takes just one swing,
At that point, releasing,
The tortures, the confusion,
For once, no extortion…
No!
Conscience crept up, uncalled for,
Whisper soft and slow,
“Once started, none, stop the flow”…
A Way Out
Have you ever been,
Lost and just confused?
Path can’t be seen,
Stood there, somehow abused?
I did,
Something just bleed,
Something just broke,
Without me knowing, I choked…
Questions clouding,
Head spinning,
What am I doing?
Right or wrong, nothing…
It is just wordless,
To describe, useless,
What you feel, how it burns,
As the pain taking turns…
Somehow it kills,
Somehow it hurts,
Somehow I, can’t find the cure,
Somehow I, can’t endure…
Cause after all,
I want, nothing but one,
Before the fall, before my call,
To be saved and be gone…
counting
And i’m counting one, two, three,
Hearing thoughts, my sanity,
Slipping slowly,
Leaving me,
Flee…
Questions lingering,
Without voice, screaming,
Silent cry, wondering why,
Wanted to fly,
Goodbye…
Counting again up to three,
Maybe it’s just a dream,
Maybe it is me,
Maybe a whim,
Maybe…
thank you
thank you God,
for helping me a lot,
though i may go astray,
You are there answering my pray…
at times I am blind,
at times crossing the line,
You are always there,
Still leading me, in my way…
thank you family,
supporting me endlessly,
though expectation can be cruel,
but you set a bar for my duel,
giving me something to hold,
to keep fighting through it all…
thank you friends,
to no end providing me hands,
in the verge of me running away,
and giving up in my toughest day,
without fail always stay,
directing me back to my way…
thank you teacher,
for making me a whole lot better,
for being angry, for punishing,
for turning nothing into something…
thank you so called enemy,
you teach me how to be,
a stronger version of me,
standing tall for you to see…
also for non believer,
making me feel like a loser,
you’re the reason i want to prove,
that you’re just an asshole and a goof…
thank you, thank you, thank you,
nothing much i can say to you,
teaching me, letting me learn,
in shaping myself as a person,
though the battle is far from over,
i shall be grateful forever…
tanda tanya
Lihat mereka,
Alangkah bagusnya…
Kau harus begini,
Manual hidupmu ini…
Mengapa?
Mengapa harus menjatuhkan?
Berkata terus sedemikian,
Mana perginya apresiasi?
Matikah ditelan provokasi?
Semua seperti kosong,
Tiada makna, tiada erti,
‘Ini cuma pendorong!’,
Lantang, justifikasi…
Apa?
Apa lagi yang dimahu?
Bingung, hanya buntu…
‘Ini pembakar semangat!’,
Terus dijaja, diangkat,
Mereka bagus, mereka hebat…
Kenapa mesti mereka?
Apa semua tiada nilainya?
Terus tertanya…
Terus bertanya…
Sampai bila?
hardest word
run, far far away,
escape with nothing to say,
leaving behind a reality,
lingers, in a fantasy…
sorry sorry sorry,
for the lost and feeling screwed,
for only wanted to flee,
as far away as i could…
i see the look in your eyes,
i see the pain in disguise,
trying to hide as it dies,
of the hopes turn to lies…
it’s unbearable just to see,
like the world crashing on me,
those eyes holding the tears,
those smiles faking the fears…
sorry sorry sorry,
letting you down in misery,
unable to be what you wanted,
letting you cry, disappointed…
i can’t make it go away,
as i’m broken and astray,
sorry for such a mess,
a disappointment at its best…
of myself and yada yada
ok so this is gonna be my rants…or whatever you called em…
first…have you ever plan so many things and everything when BAM! gone??have you ever imagine things would be so colourful and then BOOM it goes black??and most important part have you ever been expected of this and that then WHAM it turned to be a total disappointment??have you ever this have you ever that??
well i do…i’ve been telling people EXPECTATIONS kill…and oh boy yes it does…i mean yes you can all talk about how it would be like this like that…but when you feel it…there you go…IT REALLY KILLS…i’ve been dealing with expectations all my life…yeah i bet we all do…but this is my part…it’s true people expect you to be everything they wanted you to be…but i never really let it get through me…not until when it is too much and you just succumb over it at some point…
kids, beware of expectations…indeed you can ignore all the outside expectations…but don’t let it get the best out of you…yes i know i may say this and that…but believe me you don’t wanna feel how it kills…it kills SLOW and let you suffer…do not get yourself to expect something too much…don’t let the expectations of others influenced you…i repeat do not let yourself go to that level…
BELIEVING and EXPECTING are two different things…mind you…it’s good to believe on your capability…but it’s definitely a whole load of shits when you started expecting THINGS out of your belief…again DO NOT EXPECT SO MUCH…i do and it hurts…you can’t just brush it away like that…it takes a whole another strength to pick up yourself and you might need to slap hard at yourself…i mean REALLY hard…
because everything would be like a dream…that moment when your expectations FELL it goes way slow…you saw things crumbling…pieces by pieces…and how you see disappointment started to come over as things turned black…no i’m not exaggerating…that’s what i felt…you do know how things are slowed in Inception right??yes that’s just the way things will fall under you…what else to do??you just stare there and tried to blink…you would be hoping to wake up and it would all just be you in a bed sweating facing your nightmare…but TIC TOC it’s not!!!it’s the muthafuckin reality…and you just got served!!
NO i’m not trying to say i’m pitiful, i’m sad, i’m lifeless or whatsoever…my point is DO NOT LET EXPECTATIONS get the best out of you…it hurts…just remember to take precautions on handling it…
YES I AM OKAY…i’m just trying to say what has been on my mind lately…but i won’t give up…cause i know things happened for a reason…and yes karma is a bitch…maybe this is my karma…but i won’t let it get through me…i know cause i have myself dealing with this shit…it’s not the end…maybe what i have in my mind ENDS but i can just create my thoughts and draw, write something new…who else gonna be there for me FIRST, other than myself??no this is not me trying to be all sorrow emo dull whatso-fuckin-ever…this is me trying to remind myself and hopefully someone who reads (if there is any…konon bnyk readers…HAHA) that EXPECTATIONS kill and they are a bunch of bitches…haha…so all i’m saying work things out cause you can pull through it…IT IS NOT THE END…i repeat…NOT THE END!!!
p/s : this is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take away from me…NO! lulz…katy heyho way to go!
p/s 2: thank you everyone…i can only appreciate your kindness…
Another thing or two
choosing between two sides,
heart wonders what is right,
all of it seems like hell,
reaching out, I can’t tell…
—
on this part of journey,
in fairytale, it seems to be,
living through, making a bliss,
or give up to make it at ease?
—
vows have been made,
every words has been said,
yearning for an ending,
only to see the beginning…
—
uncertain, things shall be,
future, unclear to see,
on this particular story,
reality, just a part to carry…
—
even the path is closed,
vanish and become lost,
ending is another part,
relive, starting new at heart…
those reflect thingy
ok so how many times people told you don’t act like this don’t act like that??don’t say this don’t say that??and at the end they will say it will give a bad image to your family…poor judgement on your parents…it will reflects badly on your school…it gives bad impression on how you were brought up…because people will think you get those don’ts through family, parents, school blablabla…did you ever get these??you don’t??well get a life…haha…ok kidding…
those things they said at some point it makes sense…but i’m gonna say bullshit…people always talk about these stuffs about REFLECTION…it’s like what you do will reflect at least something in your life…argue with me but i do think this is bullshit…you are not representing or just reflection of things in your life…you are YOU…when children act like pain in the ass we always reflect it back to parents…we say things like,’who’s this kid parents??didn’t they teach this kid enough??’…common things…i mean at some point it kinda somewhat so-called REFLECTING the parents…we were like doctrinated to kinda justify things when it somehow went wrong, out of norm, not the usual stuffs, not the belief of majority not the yada yada yada…
so those who were saying YES IT REFLECTS…ok i’m giving you this…two planes crashed WTC on 9/11 which happened to be claimed as Muslim terrorist…so,if YES TO RELFECTS, it is safely to say the Muslim terrorist REFLECTS Muslim right??means they learn/get what they were doing through Islam right??or you say no??well i leave it up to you then…and you know Islamophobia existed cause of this…so what say you??the second one i’m giving you is about a student failing and getting low grades…can we blame like the teacher??or the education??we MAY say they contributed portion of it…but we can’t say the teacher and the education ARE TO BE BLAMED…my point is lots of things should be considered…well first consider THE ONE THAT DID IT…the terrorist and the student itself…don’t you think??
above all things i mean, i blame the society…cause we are all too fucked up always trying to point out somewhere, someone, something…we can’t help it…cause we were programmed…but still we are just too fucked up…and there i blamed the society (yeah you see i was programmed too…i’m living in THE society…duh so of course i pointed to something)…so that’s it…these reflect thingy is just bullshit…i’m trying my best not reflect things and so should you…
confusion
walking out the door,
as i search what i’m looking for,
slowly the sight is fading,
everything, just confusing…
–
the faces i’ve seen,
as i walk through the scene,
full of doubts, uncertainty,
trying to live, keeping my sanity…
–
insane, insane, insane,
people try to be Saint,
putting blame, judging others,
without shame, pointing fingers…
–
mirror mirror on the wall,
who’s at fault, taking the fall,
look at you why don’t they,
or is it they don’t even care?
–
hypocrisy is filling,
insincerity seems like a king,
in this land of the living,
where sense is on the brink…
sometimes
sometimes it doesn’t make sense,
how life can be insane,
with all the pressure, with all the tense,
we just wish for it to end…
sometimes, sometimes, sometimes,
we keep wondering too many times,
for the dreams, for the dimes,
not knowing, it’s just a mime…
without a voice, not even a sound,
with nothing to stand us on,
acting like a moron,
can’t realise what’s going on…
sometimes we need to find,
find that voice leading our mind,
to that one of a kind,
that little hope along the line…
life is hard to cope,
cause there’s way many slope,
but that little hope,
will tell us not to stop…
find that hope…that’s what life are for… 😀
the letter……
The smiles that u gave,
although it’s just a few,
something precious has paved,
inside of me, cause of u…
brave to carry on,
having hope, as it goes on,
until things are done
for ur smile, pain is none…
loving might not right,
but it’s worth to fight,
just for happiness on ur side,
only that matters, in my sight…
it is just not about having,
for the smiles, worth the living,
cause u’re not something to be owned,
u are someone to love on…
taking the bullet i’ll be,
in this particular journey,
tho u know nothing bout me,
just a smile, i’ll die gladly…
satisfied living like this,
cause i have my bliss,
as long as it is promised,
ur happiness, that is…
cause i call it awesome~
i'd take bullets for them~
“alongside we walk,
all along we talk,
the world went silent,
only us in that moment…
no matter how far,
don’t give a damn where we are,
let everything be gone,
as we’ll go as one…
thru all the things,
thru all the suffering,
i will be always there,
ready, taking the bullet all the way~“
urs truly,
-syahmijasrin-
a thought at the moment…
the clock is ticking…
i found myself thinking…
of the past and the present…
how i wish it would end…
tick tock tick tock…
everything were in fog…
blurred, i tried to find…
but i lost, nothing in the lines…
it felt so far apart,
trying to reach, i fell hard,
still searching, still nothing,
why is this happening…
at a moment it got me,
got me thinking how great it would be…
to have it, happy i might,
now it seems far, i can’t think straight…
give me strength to hold on,
cause giving up is all i want,
wishing me to just disappear,
let’s give it an end for it to clear…
The controversy of the word ‘ALLAH’ (pt. 2)
ok so it was a chaos for this issue…
but for the Muslim…
in fact of arguing about this matter…why can’t u guys think about the greater one…
i mean…think about ways to get the Muslims have a strong faith towards Islam…prevent Muslims from going to prostitutions places and etc etc…rather than arguing about Allah is only for Muslims…as if only Muslims being created by Allah (The Creator)…
yeah i know…i’m not the best Muslim ever…in fact i’m not a well-educated about Muslim matters…and i don’t deserve to speak of religion matter…
so why don’t u guys think of ways to get people like me more educated about Islam??plenty of people do not have the well-proper educations about Islamic matter…well-proper educations here means that 360 degrees view of Islamic matter…can’t u guys think of this stuff??u guys wanted to say by implementing the rules about Allah is only for Muslim so that there won’t be confusion and it is afraid the Muslim will convert etc etc…
BUT HEY…THINK OF WHAT CAUSED THE CONFUSION??!! WHY THERE WOULD B A CONFUSION??
it is way too SIMPLE…that’s because the faith is not strong enough…then think WHY FAITH IS NOT STRONG???
rather than arguing trying to get ur particular side is the righteous and the most correct one…
think about all of those the biggest conspiracy ever…the attack towards the Muslim now…think of the ones in other places…on how discrimination takes place on them…think about the Muslim in Palestin…think about HOW TO MAKE US STRONGER??? not arguing about this matter…this is actually simple…there are plenty of bigger matter…e.g. Muslim in Palestin…the time of thinking about the debates, instead why don’t u guys take that time to PRAY for their safety??
CAN’T WE THINK ABOUT THE GREATER ISSUE???
~ THINK DEEPLY…~
The controversy of the word ‘ALLAH’
first of all, i’m a Muslim…n frankly i’m not a perfect one…but i do have my own opinion…
so, as i heard it was all over the news bout the use of word Allah by the non-muslim…well for me why can’t they?? n as far as my knowledge goes the word Allah had been used in the Bible…correct me if i am totally wrong…
Allah means God…so, can’t they have God?? as Muslim, we learnt that we are His slave…and He is the Most Superior…so, who are we to neglect the rights of others for Allah as we being taught that each and every being is His creation…
i’m not really a well educated for religion matters…and i’m not really the suitable one for this matter…
but do read THIS…click HERE…if u’re a Muslim u shud b reading that…please do read it…each n every word of it…understand it…if u’re a non-Muslim just assume it as an extra information…
READ IT, FEEL IT, UNDERSTAND IT, THINK DEEPLY ABOUT IT!!
escaping reality 